Speed of Light

Things this week have been going by so fast I'm surprised that I've even found the time to write an entry. I've studied all the material that my brain will hold for today, so I need to get away from the lecture notes. After a while, no matter how hard you concentrate, there comes a point when you turn the page and have forgotten what you just read on the previous five pages. That's one of the reasons why it's better to study everyday rather than trying to cram it all in in just one day.

On Tuesday we had our clinical pathology final in the morning and then we had our frozen section practical and gross dictation practical in the evening. The art of taking a frozen section is really tough to master! Before Tuesday I was in the gross laboratory at night for a couple of days and there were multiple times where as I was cranking the wheel the blade cracked the specimen right in half! It's game over if that happens in a real situation. I couldn't for the life of me understand why it was happening. After I searched some on the internet, the freezing gel, "Optimal Cooling Temperature", needs to solidify just right to ensure smooth cutting. I was cooling the block too much and it was shattering the whole specimen when I cut into it. It's a good thing that I learned that through experience rather than have that happen to me on my rotations next year. I'd rather make all of my mistakes now.

Yesterday was also a big event for us. We finally received our laboratory coats at our white coat ceremony. Although finals are still ahead of us in two days, it's too late for any of us to fail now. It was a really nice ceremony and I had the chance to see the family members of many of my classmates. Of course, West Virginia was too far away for my family in California to attend, but I still felt as if I was surrounded by family. I'm sure that they are happy to see my progress through the program.

The lab coat seems to be both a blessing and a curse to me.
It's nice to see my progress physically manifest as a lab coat. I won't lie in that the lab coat is a kind of status symbol. But, what weighs on my shoulders more is the amount of responsibility that wearing the lab coat entails. When putting on the lab coat it felt as if now I had entered into a new world of responsibilities and mistakes would have much higher and real costs than before. My biggest fear right now is making a mistake that will impact someone's life negatively in a huge way. (Something I did or didn't do to cause the pathologist to misdiagnose our patient.) The most that we can do is to do our best, but there may come a time where my best is not enough to avoid making a mistake. In a just world, our mistakes would only negatively impact ourselves, but there are situations in which our mistakes negatively affect others. I'm certain that the lab coat will serve as a 'Sword of Damocles' that will remind me be to be ever vigilant. But, in a sense, the lab coat is more ominous than the 'Sword of Damocles'. Our mistake causes the sword to fall not on our own heads, but on the heads of our patients.

Another full day of studying awaits my classmates and I tomorrow. Just a few more days and we'll be finished with the semester. I'm looking forward to it!